Based on the subject, you might suspect this is a chain letter or an email forward. It’s not. I’m outlining all the things that make me a bad American. I think a similar article is floating around the net, but this one will be my thoughts.
1. I believe in personal responsibility. Darwinism is the reason that you’re trapped on a rooftop, surrounded by sewage, and waiting on a government helicopter to rescue you.
2. I believe there should only be two kinds of sex offenders. Dead ones and those not yet caught. This concept of a “registered sex offender” only highlights what is wrong with our society.
3. I believe that, unless you just arrived here from Mars, there is no excuse for not having money or some non-government means of support.
4. I read books instead of watching endless hours of useless television. You should especially be ashamed of yourself if you watch sitcoms, reality TV shows, or other similar trashy programming.
5. I’m not a member of this so called “housing crisis”. I bought a house I can afford and did so at a fixed interest rate. I don’t believe in this ridiculous concept of “predatory lending”, and I don’t think my tax money should be used to help those who purposely bought a house they couldn’t afford.
6. I am strongly opposed to this Minister of Equalization we now have for a president. I know where I am and what I’m doing each morning of a work week, and I don’t think my money belongs to some other family who can somehow afford to pay for cigarettes, but not their electric bill.
7. I save money. It’s a novel concept, and banks reward you for it.
8. I have credit cards, but I use them wisely. None of them have balances which look like they were used to finance two cars and a boat.
9. I will never willingly watch a CNN broadcast, ever.
10. I believe that if you’re cold and hungry, there’s a reason for it. How long have you known that it gets cold in January, and what have you been doing since that time?
11. I believe there’s a simple solution to overcrowded prisons. It’s called euthanasia.
12. In terms of the second amendment, I believe the phrase, “shall not be infringed” means exactly what it says.
13. I believe that the Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and Obama definition of “fair” is two wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for dinner.
14. I believe that no company should be guaranteed the right to exist by the federal government. If GM can’t manage on their own, then let Honda, Toyota, Hyundai and the others do what they can’t.
15. I believe that if you drive a car without insurance, your car should be seized and either crushed or auctioned, and you should be sentenced to X years of hard labor.
16. I believe that anyone trying to cross the border illegally should be instantly shot. How did the conflicting terms “illegal alien” and “civil rights” find themselves being used in the same sentence to describe the same group of people?
17. I believe that people who breed irresponsibly should not receive a cash reward.
